good. it will be good. the thoughts and moods will pass. the problems will be solved. through a combination of time and the fact that things work out ok in the end, our worries will fade. friends will circle, laughter will be created, spring is upon us and the light shimmers at the end of the long tunnel of winter. all the fires that raged are now out, within the burnt ground life will sprout. there is work to be done and ahead we fall.
not bad. its not bad. the things you have gathered are worth keeping around. the job, although not exactly as you had planned it, suffices. so does your spouse. they have done their best to support you and you them. the city and country are also doing well, providing you roads and public safety. you have missed the bigger pitfalls, you are over the hump, keep the chin up and dont fuck it all up and your blue badge awaits you. you have passed, you made it.
its enough. you have done more than decent. look at the extra square footage in your house, you are in right zip code and you have given child. all that food in the pantry and your savings in the bank, and look at that lawn and your car. your shoes are tied, your socks match, you can keep the saliva in your mouth when you speak. and those words, they properly come out where people understand. you do not burn your toast, the toothpaste where you squeezed from the center of the tube is till somewhat full. your eyes, although not as shining still have that glimmer of hope. the show is not over. greatness is right around the corner, in between the bus stop and the post office. somewhere in the future. keep at it, keep grasping at the air.