in a world where we do know who we really are or why we are here or where we are headed, its easy to get bogged down on the things we think we can grasp. On the messages we might send or not send, on our daily amount of food and alcohol, on what time we will get up and go to sleep. we work hard on these issues, small details where we are sure we can control. we try to make sure these get done, for these we can grasp and those big things are out of our control.

yet in fact, the small things seem to be just as out of control. our sleep, as much as we will it, comes when we find the right moment to black out. and what a wonder this is, to truly step away from ourselves each night. like dying and being born again in the morning. and during the day, our messages, conversations with friends and foes, this too is of very little choice when you come down to it. if you think of the people and places you found yourself today, or tomorrow, think about how these choices arrived. what these messages say. many were planned for you, by people and choices that were pulled and pushed onto you, as much as you think the choice was yours.

you can do what you decide to do-but you can not decide what you decide to do.

sam harris-

just like you think your thoughts are yours to control, try to choose a number from 3-30. choose it at random or put as much effort as you think you can to form a pattern or a reason to it all. neither matter. the choice was from an already preconceived and predetermined thought, awaiting for you to think it was all yours. moments, thoughts and messages, no more your own choice then your heart beating, your hair growing or your eyes blinking. we have no say in any of it, best to simply lean forward and enjoy the ride.