to calm the mind. to put onto paper or into the world the words going on inside the head. to record a time and thought in the midst of it all. if you want to feel importance I was told, it is necessary to make money. if you want to be happy, hang out with friends. we then have all these other things going on, in our lives and mind. things that might have nothing to do with either of the two, but feel like they need a looking at nonetheless. That we are so keenly aware of our existence makes it all the harder, that we have the self and have to contend with this day in and day out. have to feed it, get the directions right, mate, clean, save, it is endless but during all those things we have to question what it is about. what the meaning of the whole thing is, what it means for you.

after you get through the hunger and have figured out a way to make a living (I suggest being a landlord) the reality of time on your hand and a quest for something greater grows. you can start toying with religions, listen to different philosophers or ask the elders. Most people do none, but go about their days reacting to the world, acting as they lumped into a body at a specific time and place, unable or unwilling to ponder anything other than the things that are going on in front of them. This is the easier choice, or the difficult one to get out of since it is the default, it will happen without you doing anything.

the other choice is to seek. to find alternative options, to start chasing religions, to delve into the philosophers who pondered for years the meaning of it all. You can go back to the childhood times and ask the simple questions again, where did I come from and why am I here. These are tough questions that when you think about them seem to take you further away from yourself and the reason you thought you were here all along. But in this quest you will find that the more you push, and further your get away from the reality of how you were living, the clearer the reason becomes. The answers will start manifesting themselves in simple clues and answers, such deep reasons are only found in the simplest of explanations but just like a child who cannot find the words for the meaning of something, as soon as you try to go about putting down your results you are at a loss for explaining the meaning of it all to anyone other then yourself.