my thoughts pull me from the moment and take me into another. a circular and perpetual dance of consciousness that eats away at time. to be aware of my day takes me into another corner, another subject. i wait for the monkey mind to bounce to other subjects, both here and now and into tomorrow. emotions of each subject simmer inside me as a mixture of feelings creating the mood that is today. for now its anxiety mixed with optimism with a touch of shame-lingering from the place my mind comes back from in the dark corners of the web.

later i think of my family and the home that is so far away, then come back to the now, to the place i have called my own in the corner of a foreign land. i remember friends and foes, count the imaginary victories and wonder how many more hurtles ill have to jump to get to the imaginary finish line where i can fall into the long sleep, riddled with some disease that got the best of me.

till now im not sure who is in charge or where the thoughts come from nor what they mean. i briefly know, pretending i am better at judging these situations then others. i blurt out my opinion, not certain anyone cares or agrees. i wait for the echo to come my way, to justify and solidify my stance on anything. a dandelion untethered, hoping to avoid a pool of water or inhospitable lands.

all problems are illusions of the mind.

eckhart tolle