there are countless ways. then there is the right way. i suspect we achieve it about 20-30 percent of the time. that the remainder is pointless. that no matter how you live your life, the people you meet, the stuff you collect, only a small part matters. the rest is in vain.

in hindsight you can witness the moments that mattered, you can identify them if you look back. from this point its best to have the wisdom to halt the conversations when dragged on, that you drop the object you never wanted, you move onto the areas that matter. unfortunately you realize that importance and relevance is also fleeting. in this universe, the grit of life is always here and there, the rest are voids. the time drags us, it is in between the waves, from sunset to sunrise, and many of us do not rise early enough to see the first nor step outside enough to witness the last. and if you did, after a few times the view would wane. the weariness would seep in.

at moments i wish i let go. to step away and preserve the time i had. i do not want to dilute life any further. middle age takes its toll. stuck between a life of meaning and wisdom holds a difficulty i cannot shake. i yearn for a further away place i once knew. one where falls do not matter and my indifference and ignorance allowed it to all seems so fun and promising. where anything was possible and none of it mattered. now its all turned on its head and the limits of myself is clear and the scope of it all is slowly becoming boxed in. the best scenario plays out over and over and always ends the same. time does it to us all. best to look away, turn the tv on and pretend its not coming, to get lost in a book, in a maze, anything but the mirror.