each time you leave a person, or a place, chances are that it could be the last time you will see them. the memory will linger, but that will also start to fade…the music will not keep going, and when you come back or see them again things will have changed. best to keep this idea clear when you leave things unfinished. best to wrap up the details. leave things in a good place. make the bed. flush the toilet. take the trash out.
im not sure how much i want to get old. it seems that the fear of falling, complaining about various ailments and the fact that there is not much to do but wait till the end depresses the hell out of me. perhaps its best to go a bit earlier. when things were still worth fighting for, when you still have a degree of importance, respect and dignity. like knowing when to let go of a rope when swinging over water, when to stop talking and start listening, or when to stop pushing or fighting. a time for everything.
is thinking enough for it to happen? if i want to give up does it stop? an optimistic point of view helps, convincing yourself and those around you that it is all bubbly. a depressed person will sadden us all, and does nothing for the situation. but convincing yourself that all is fine when it is not will only make the situation unsustainable. you need a story you can believe, and faking it shows. just words…