success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.

winston churchill

there seems to be more questions then answers. you would think that a life fully lived would help resolve these issues, or one would simply stop asking, but it never works out the way you had planned. Life tends to veer off course, pull you in another direction, and all of a sudden you are fighting about what an idiot you were or regretting some action that seemed so innocent at the time. complexity is compounded with the interaction of others. we get so off-track with others, how they influence us, both ways, helps to show what an emotional vessel we truly are.

for a some it is hard enough to keep our head above water, feeding and facing a world of others, others who are already in their comfortable shell of a home office or social placement. how we want to occupy with them. to get out of our purgatory, no matter how comfortable it is. you see this all the time, with the ordinary and their fascination with the rich and famous to the discreet hiding and dodging that those on the top of certain ladders attempt to fit in with the rest. boys turning into girls, country folk rolling into the cities and urbanites pitching tents in the fields. we want to be both here and there, although we spend most of out time in between it all.

for what is the destination if only the road there? if you get to oz, and know that you pull away the curtain and there is a false god pulling levers and switches, do you simply decide not to go any longer? In a bit of time the whole thing will fade. The world you had planned, the home you had built, the relationships you had fostered. There is no other way, it all eventually falls apart. Its what time does. It eats away at the things we have collected. best to marvel at them now, to appreciate them and to make the most of them. for in a bit they will be gone, just like they all came to you. in a perfect swap of equity and energy that came shooting through the sky in a brief and beautiful and ugly moment in time.