There was a young man who said though, it seems that I know that I know, but what I would like to see is the I that knows me when I know that I know that I know.

alan watts-

i wonder all the time recently how to escape the self. or how to forget it. to see myself as simply someone that came out of this earth in a certain environment, and like a plant that landed in the right soil have somewhat thrived. that the roots of my existence root in much deeper of places that i can see, that for a while i get to be a dandelion pappus, floating around util another home is found. how to forget the I? And if i do accomplish forgetting it, who is that who is forgetting?

it is a game on multiple levels and i try my best to play with all of them while not following any of the basic rules. to find spirituality without a mentor, a healthy body while staying far from the gym and make a living while avoiding the office. how to know what im doing is right or wrong when you stumble upon the idea that there is no right or wrong. it does seem like i will spend the remainder of my years forgetting. so much knowledge crammed into me is of no use, to me and to others. best to clear the old stuff out and see what room can be made in the closet.

in the next chapter ill try to keep at this point of reaching the point. of finding out what, where and why it is happening. on this veil ill try to watch the i who is digging. to figure out what he is up to and then the i that is watching the i digging. layers of selfs and waves beckoning to find out how it all began and where it is heading and what happens when it stops. questions that are not easily answered or avoided once you stumble upon them.