at all ages, you want to feel important, to feel loved. you want to matter, and you look for those feelings in things that you can approach. the way your boss treats you, your husband looks as you or even how you are treated by strangers. perhaps it is the bigness of everything that makes small things matter so much. no matter how big the whole thing gets, small things matter. like daggers, unless you don’t feel anything small things can play a larger then life role in the story of it all. like a thorn in your sock, the pain is precise and immediate.
we have days where we wake up sad, moments where we are scared of things, in our mind emotions are created and destroyed. thoughts coming out of nowhere compass our train of thought, steal the attention from others and absorb our time.
everybody is guessing. you would think that the adults in the room have an idea of what is going on, that is until you become an adult. we are all making it up, and doing our best to guess the correct answer to questions that seem perpetual. the politicians, the cops, the teachers, all children that are acting like adults. the kids can’t make choices as the adults won’t let them til they get a bit older. all the same time while playing with atom bombs and other weapons of mass destruction made barely decades ago, a matter of time awaits before one goes off.