the booze really messed him up. physically he had been in one altercation after another, the scars on his body, a testament to the turmoil he had been through. inside he seemed ok, but any mention of going into treatment or joining me for an AA meeting was met with resistance. Somewhere inside he was not ready to give up this part of his identity. One where an after work drink or an occasional glass of wine upon returning home would be detrimental for him, would take away the one bit of happiness that remained in his life. a bit of a quandary is in place, watch ones friend spin off into a spiral of destruction, or keep intervening to hope him divert. I remember a wise few words, that you cannot change others, but perhaps you can change yourself, so quit I have.

He is not me but an extension of sorts. If I were to stop, there would be one less excuse for him to continue, one less person he has to keep up with. It would also help me. i have also had a love/hate relationship with the stuff. a poison we have been consuming since the start of time itself (7,000 BC in China to be precise). We drink for two main reasons, to cope with stress while escaping reality and to celebrate social gatherings. Both intertwine with one another and like all addictions, the line is blurred where one starts and the other ends due to ones tendency to create reasons and motives for having a drink or two. the problems happen when excess is piled onto the equation, something that also is weaved into the drinking itself. As F. Scott Fitzgerald so elegantly put it, “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” and off you go.

it all begins with habits. changes in your normal behavior. you have to be aware of what you are doing, what your thinking. in order to break an old habit a reminder has to be put in place of what you are doing this for. if it is a diet, a quick glance at your belly, or if it is to better your friendships, a reminder to reach out to them. slow habits form into a routine, over time the part of your brain that allows one to move into another takes time but we can all do it if motivated enough. steps in what im sure is the better direction, with less accidents, less spills and less moments where the line from comedy to tragedy can easily be crossed.