free thought and choice are both blessing and the curse bestowed on us. we feel confined with the choices that were made, blame others for our setbacks, and feel left out from greener meadows all around. we create indifference to the world around us, while knowing we could get out and change it. a pendulum of patting ourselves on the back and cursing our situations swing back and forth marking our black eyes and the feathers we put into our caps. games all around, we can participate or simply watch, we try our best to find a medium in it all but the balance is hard to strike when the board keeps moving.

as the games are raging with moderates and conservatives at each others throats while trade wars and election season are in full swing, im sitting in the crowds as a bystander indifferent to the outcome while not sure what side to be rooting for. moving in a zig-zag pace i shuffle between it all, trying to keep my own food from spoiling. as mom and dad argue i go into my room and shut the door, rocking back and forth telling myself this will all be alright. and in a peaceful space inside my head, it is.

we answer automatically that we are good when asked. for in comparison to what it could be, we are. with all the injustices and suffering around, it could still be much worse. our companions could be worse, the weather could be more extreme and food could be scarcer. relative is what i remind myself whenever i feel the urge to complain. remember when i was sick, remember when we will get older, remember when the pain really sets in. until then, this is a breeze, let the noise rage and the flowers wilt, spring will be back and fall is a great time of year. its as good as it gets, this now.