A horse suddenly came galloping quickly down the road. It seemed as though the man had somewhere important to go. Another man, who was standing alongside the road, shouted, “Where are you going?” and the man on the horse replied, “I don’t know! Ask the horse!” —- a buddhist tale written sometime time ago.

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We have a bit of control over what we say, how we act, but most the time we are on auto drive. Going about your day, the motions unfold as naturally as the clouds pass in the sky. Reacting to the world, we are on an out of control horse galloping forward. Our surroundings pass, the news that comes into our world brighten or dampen our emotions but forward we go, time forever behind us a blur if you look in any direction but now.

Our destinations made up, we simply know that we must run or gallop or trot. Starting with our families, some of us break out alone or settle into tribes, dressing and mumbling musings that matter to us. Caught up in the theatrics of it all, we forget all about the destination, consumed with task and objects we go through it all, barely looking up at the changing sky or reflecting on who and what we are. Its easier this way.

I wonder how I have arrived where I am. Sitting in the summer heat of Shanghai, 2020, living among the Chinese as an American from the south. I have a hard time answering this question. I would like to say ask the horse, but have no such animal around. Like a dream it has been, falling dominos pushing me towards the long sleep, in another land into another place. Falling towards a tomorrow that i have little choice in.