it is early, jet-lag had jarred me out of sleep and i had wanted to get out in the water before the sun rose too much. it felt recently that the sun has become hotter, and avoiding it was something that helped sway my decisions of recent. as i swam on, the exhaustion continued but my determination put it to rest. finally making the flag i rested, on my back, and floated for a few minutes to get my breath. the sea was not too rough, a breeze was blowing and i found myself looking into the sky and feeling a sense of calm. alone, the ability to float in the ocean had always abetted any fear of drowning or getting in trouble. 

getting your heart racing is supposed to improve your chances of extending your life while weight training i was told increased your quality of life. breathless, in what felt like the centre of the ocean, i wondered to myself if any of that mattered should it end early. to save and to hold back the moments of temporary joy in an attempt to extend it all for a longer shot at it all. looking back at the shore, i put my face down and swam forward, facing a bit of a stronger current then I had anticipated. fish swam below me, the breeze above and the mind was still caught in the contemplation of how much to exert today for a chance at an unknown tomorrow. as long as i enjoy the swimming i will keep at it, if only to extend this life i am not certain exercise is worth its energy, its too damn hard and boring.