am i awake? i wonder this as I peer ahead, lost in thoughts while being distracted by the shuffling of people to and fro. the murmuring of conversation going on in front of me reminds me that i must pay attention, people hate when you are not listening. i respond so they know i am still there. ive been told its my diet, that it creates a clouded mind. either way i feel as though i am floating away, not quite gone but slipping. i also heard it could be the coming full moon, i think it might have to do with the recent head injuries coupled with aging.

…..

so there is little time to perfect anything. all to do is to let it out, get it onto paper and amend later. no matter how perfect it might come out, age and time will ware it out and unperfect it. something undone can also come together in time, could be more beautiful when left undone. unpolished. words unsaid. the things we did not touch. i know this is true as i wander a city constantly in flux, redoing itself over and over again, the stones unturned, buildings untouched become the gems. it is what we dont perfect, the things and areas we leave alone where perfection might lie.

…..

the calm water. the words unsaid, the actions left undone. in due time we fall all the way. our words no longer making any sense, our audience no longer around or caring to listen. we tiptoe around a meaning, we know the end is coming, when there is nothing left to concrete over or to write about or say. a time where silence takes hold, where dust can settle, when you have turned in the assignment and gone off to the next class. when your kids have left the house and nothing can keep your attention. it is then best to quiet and enjoy the cracks as you slip through them.