i try to steer the car carefully these days. knowing that the risk of a crash is real and that the consequences are more significant. perhaps also aware that the thrill of being reckless is really not that fun, the gambit not worth the chase. although my actions might show a different reality. heading straight into oncoming traffic, with abandonment i tend to head back into the old habits. we all go in circles.

i think of the trees, the circles on the trunks you see when you cut them down. scientist can read these rings and find the lines where the winters were tough, or where the summers had droughts. thinking back in our own lives i wonder how one can see the difficulties man faces. if it shows in the wrinkles on our brow, the rust on our car or the tremors in our voices. it must show, for the pain and setbacks are real for us all. some tend to cover it up better then others, but the forrest fires and droughts are real. no one escapes unharmed.

on the teeter totter of life again i push up and my feet leave the ground. in the air things seem lighter, a bit of mystery and excitement as i head out of the home into the unknown. i think of casinos and flytraps as i pass the shops. i wonder how luck will play out in the big city. if things will play out in or our of my favor. either way the lines are forming, either lighter of darker, in circular ways as we rinse, wash and repeat the game of life.