shanghai, winter 2022: lock a population up over and over again, create an undercurrent of fear and instability and a general population gets ptsd. its probably similar in war. i think of the thousands without windows entering into the winter and wonder why and what this does to a population. human suffering of this kind should be avoidable but perhaps we need an enemy and suffering and turmoil to make the game interesting. in stillness and peace and prosperity the path to enlightenment is hard to see. create a mess and the road to redemption is easier to see. the game gets good, for a few at least.

be alone, that is the secret to invention; be alone that is where ideas are born.

nikola tesla

in watching bad choices unfold it is perhaps best to ask oneself what the point of their endeavor for making such a choice was. it allows peace to settle in and repositions the point of what you were after in the first place. if you can shift your paradigm to another direction the faults and malfunctioning parts of your problem subside and contentment can easier be reached. considering it is all inevitable, coming to terms with your broken car or your side walking limp, running toilet or noisy neighbor becomes more palatable. it allows you to see the problem in a different light and explains away the annoying parts. perhaps one more way to accept the things for what they are, to find the silver lining in the ever appearing clouds.

i once read that the clouds in one life and the mistakes are always on the surface in order for us to avoid such things in the future. that we see the negative and remember the bad parts as a sort of self-help mechanism built into our ever evolving lizard brains. if i could, i wish to shed this part in life. to wander the earth seeing the beauty and progress of my otherwise plagued time on earth. to remember the successes, as little as they might be. to wake up and fall asleep with unicorns and puffy clouds all around. as my child bearing times are coming to an end i cant see why this needs to get in the way with evolution.