nowhere else to go.

the first step to getting somewhere is to

decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

ageing creates a sense of seriousness and self censorship that our youth did not have. things seem graver, more pronounced and planned out then before. our determination hardens and self confidence either wanes or emboldens, our skin wrinkles and hair sprouts from places it did not in our youth. it is not a particular enjoyable change, but one that requires embracement like most things that come your way with little choice. answers come out slower, like our movements the synapses in our brain do not go so quickly, it is why you have very young people in the seat of a race car, where quick reflexes and reactions win the cup. everything slows down, pain even comes slower, where dull aches move through your body and out with the speed of a slow drip.

in the middle, things are about what you would expect. things are neither here nor there, excitement comes at less intervals, but so does sadness. like a car in winter, things take longer to warm up. you react and matter less to circumstances, and circumstances act and matter less to you. the feeling of importance goes away, a bigger picture forms and saddens your perception. no longer alone in this world, yet we still toil away. picking and pruning our own patch of land, we spend and save in equal denominations, noting that this marathon was longer then we thought. our grievances harden, our stances flatten, our bodies bend.

the splendour of youth, wasted on the young. so endless the days were, so boundless the opportunities. our inept ability to comprehend the difficulties is what made us so explosive in our capabilities. the same ignorance allows endless possibilities. our arguments were sound, even if they lacked the substance that age carries with it. overly confident and sure that a difference can be made.

its amazing what a decade or two will do to your perception.