perhaps it never mattered. that what happens to us and what happens in the world is playing out like a movie you sit down to watch. the mechanics of it all worked out the way a pinball moves down the machine, bouncing into buzzers and pushed back while extra balls are added to the mix. the thoughts just like the hairs on your arms, growing outward as we move down river with time as a mechanism to limit it all. part of a larger organism, also growing and springing outward, as small or as big as you want it to appear but always on autopilot. we are dominos falling.

or perhaps everything matters. the food we eat, the friends we make and the amount we put in each day will decide the end. perhaps the small things add up, that a string of failures and bad choices will wreck the mightiest ship and an aspiring actor will break in eventually due to his hard work and the number of auditions he goes on. perhaps everything we do matters and matters alot, and if we stop to think about it, be conscious in it all and mindful multiple things could change. this is why everything can be beautiful or awful if you stop to think it over and truly take the surrounding in.

perhaps it is somewhere in between. we make our meaning in it all. we define what we consider important by the time spent on those things. the feelings evoked in certain things or entities is directly a result of deciding that it mattered. we make up the fact that something matters, we place importance in the things we tell ourselves are important. a loss or gain is our understanding of it and whether we are laughing or crying is how we perceive the situation to be based on the previous day, week or year we are coming off. it is a cool place, a nice couple, a smart choice and wise decision from a good family and going in the right direction or perhaps he is off course, ill conceived, unlucky or simply bad. probably it is somewhere in between.