the thoughts, like waves, keep coming. standing alone on the beach i cannot see my friends, only other waves crashing against the shore. each one promising to climb higher up the beach, each one a bit unique but more or less, each one had traveled so far, saw so much. not only beauty but strife, falling forward its forward momentum is all it ever knew. one after the other. a constant steam of water, seemingly moving forward but actually only moving up and down.

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there is plenty of things each day we can do to comfort ourselves. we can reward ourselves with ice cream, or apply some discipline and push to complete something hard and feel the joy of accomplishing something. it feels good at times to forget about everything in the background, to zone out in video land or focus on a sporting event. to quiet the mind takes an active pursuit of something else. each and every day i search for this pursuit, usually getting involved in a myriad of adventures created by myself. find this at a market, make it to point b, get that square peg in the square notch, keep the family afloat and keep moving foreward.

up and down of each day feels like i am going forward. i make it from one point to the other, i get the words out, make new strides, but it is seemingly done with little effort and even less outcome. in circles i go, chasing my tale and imagine an audience who laugh and cheer but instead stay silent. on occasion i see the end, i push one last time, climb a bit more towards an end that i know is not really the end. i push, like the others, to matter in a world where i compete for ribbons and coins that have no redemption value. racing alone on an endless track.