away it goes. slipping, moving further back. relevance, representation, relationships. they all fade into the background as i shuffle backwards off the stage. its not that i want to exit, its simply time. other people are waiting, they have patiently been circling, working hard and taking notes in class in order to carry the torch. time works this way, the world works this way, nature and evolution are based on this. the weak fall as the hours pass. someone else wishes to own my house, drive my car, stand in my shoes.
i keep trying to forget along the way. to forget it all. the rules that were hammered into me, the slogans that go with the ego. its best to forget that there is anything that will make losing my place in line matter. that the objects i have gathered are temporary i must forget what i have collected and where i have put them. i yearn to not yearn. to truly let go of it all. to avoid the pitfalls that surround the moat i have just climbed out of. its perilous and potentially catastrophic but i have to forge on. i have to keep chasing my tail.
my life is a joy i repeat as i force a smile onto my face. best not to let others suffer by association. nobody wants to be around those not shining, people avoid decay and steer away from anything that does not represent success. its also part of evolution and i am trying not to mess with that rule. i best iron the shirt, get my game face on and show the world how much i have woken. show them that trick where i see myself seeing myself, tell them the game i know it all is, show them how its played. its gonna require better grammar, less half naked women and a better presentation. ill need a pulpit and a choir, some sharp pencils and a stern look on my face. ill also need a stage that will have me.
