As I get older I find myself giving in easier. Letting things settle where they be, no use fighting, nothing to fight for. I wake up and go to bed alone, even if my wife of 20 years lays next to me, our minds filled with different realities and fears yet we share a bed none the less. I still wrestle with her in words, it keeps things interesting but enjoy the comfort in knowing that if things get too much, I have her.

i can feel that a new chapter is not too far off. a time where i give away the belongings i once cherished, where i do not agree or disagree but simply observe the goings on of things. where i am sitting more of as an observer than a participant. watching time span, the wall color yellow and my memories and objects fade away. a beautiful mirage it all was. where i began my search i saw trees as trees and rivers as rivers. after a while, when i was deep along my way, i saw that trees were not trees and rivers were not rivers. but in the end, over the years, i saw that they were indeed simply rivers and trees.

in the hear and now i will continue to fall forward with society. edging closer to an inhabitable world where we are filled to the brim with the plastic disposable containers that made it all so convenient. i will filter my water and yearn for days to come, the days towards an end. half way to nowhere, i am ready to take the train to the next station.