when you become aware of yourself, a pause happens, briefly, and then the moment changes. your become a bit woken, from where you just where. you can step out of the situation a bit, see it from a far or simply from a slightly different angle, you can see you being the person you think you are. its a moment, that will slowly come to you if you allow it. you can play the scene over in your head, its best to try it from time to time. and here is how.

first go about your day, remember when you are looking for something it is impossible to find, so finding yourself is the same. when you are in between moments, perhaps checking your phone, walking out of the house or when you go to stare into the panty, pause, and think of what you are doing. stop your action briefly. look at you. and become aware of the automation of what you are about to do next. like your heart beating, become aware that you are reacting to many external factors and almost moving remotely in the whole thing. like a flame, wave or time itself, you are simply part of the whole flickering of things coming about. the ideas and thoughts driving your action are unfolding from a hidden script being read aloud by an internal speaker on some looped cycle.

best not to linger too long or do this too often. you can get caught in a loop and end up quietly mumbling to yourself in a corner somewhere. but be aware of what you are doing from time to time, as you are doing it, is a lovely exercise in self actualization. it will surprise you, like the feeling of learning a neat fact, like all mammals hearts, no matter their type, beat about a billion times a lifetime. from a three year old rabbit (whose heart flutters) to an 80 year old slow beating elephant. always around a billion. although recently, due to medications and science, humans can now double that number on the whole. for better or for worse.