when our days go on, we start to justify moving the sticks in the sand. one more cookie, chatting just a bit longer with her/him, making a bit less or a bit more. here a drink or two is justified, but not too much. we do this on the opposite side of the fence as well. one more attempt at studying, one more goal at work, one more romantic gesture to the wife. a walk after dinner, one more serving of veggies. the balance we all seek for pleasure and pain, balanced in our minds and in some way, in those keeping count in our lives.

during our days, we struggle both with how it will end and the now. we are careful not to spend it all, but holding onto too much for a tomorrow is also a hard sell. we want to live and to make the most of each moment, we want carpe diem while at the same time enough for the next moment or day to keep on. we want her, but also her. we know that god is fair, that we can only really have so much before the rest go to spoils. we tell ourselves that some things we cant get enough of, all the while knowing the deadly sins are there- pride, covetousness, lust, gluttony, envy, anger, and sloth. they come and go, those sins, we give into them at times while fighting them at others.

and what of these sins, cant they be justified as well? moments of weakness, our inability to keep the straight and narrow. we all have our vices, hidden below a surface. we walk around talking outward, acting in a way that is not necessary our real way, our inside, boiling like a volcano, controlled so society keeps us in its company. thank god for the ambiguity of the internet to let us roil in it.