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we stare at our phones alot. it is almost like flipping channels, looking for that one thing that will stop our attention. it releases a bit of dopamine i have heard, the sound of messages coming in. checking news feeds, feeling like more is going on then is actually there. the habit forms. unknowingly we stare at our devices, over and over again like a facial tick, going off in such a way that we are barely obvious of what we are doing. 

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i never understood people who bragged of being busy. it never crossed my mind that having more to do, more things to consume our time was something that we should strive for. is their something that i have been missing? when i feel when time becomes too available, an unease sets in. why is it harder to enjoy the emptiness, the quiet moments and the stillness then the chaos of a noisy crowd or ringing phones? a quietness and stillness i feel is harder to 
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what does it feel like to not feel anything? if it is not an ache, or a slight pain, does our body naturally go into a feeling of nothingness as its default? you can feel the confines of your body if you focus, the feeling of your foot, the end of the fingertips, your head of hair. you can feel where your body stops. but something strange happens when you close your eyes. the endings go away, and you become as big and as wide as the room or state you are sitting in. your body and its confines go away. 
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-the darkest building in the world.