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why the need to say anything….i was going to shout it out in the social media feed. it gets more views then this, at least for now. a need for social acceptance? what in it should i be going for. recognition of doing better deeds, living a cooler life or caring less while caring more what i was really after?

i had crafted it already in my head. it begins with a bit of congratulatory praise for helping a charity organisation i had fallen into and gotten involved in. in order to gain some insight, myself and a friend rolled in as some americans that wanted to do good deeds to a charity or foster kids that need help as the parents battle in courts here in phnom penh. i would not go into that much detail, i would simply state:

a day where i fed 80 and made happiness spread.

with this photo….

i had done this, but there is something cheap about taking credit for it. like the bible stories that come after the missionaries spend their days teaching english, or the logo of a large organisation that accompanies schools or stadiums, in a way it seems to weaken the experience. if you do good, just do good, dont brag about it or expect anything from the return other then knowing you did good rather then bad. do it because it feels good, to get out of your own ego for a while, to see you problems in comparison to others. to create happiness in others is to create it inside.

on another issue, i thought a shout out of my other time is necessary. the ego 🙁

i would need to trow in some other moments. as the day moved on and i also had some things to share to those i know and those i dont. those i wish to show that i also can find cool places in strange cities…in some nonsensical way i thought others should see this and read this:

late night swim in phnom penh, with all the political turmoil it still finds a way to rise…with chinas help.

then this photo….

what do either of these post say or speak. i am not really asking anyone to do anything, although some help with the charity would be welcome, who am i trying to talk too and what is my motive? if you go into the forest and speak the most profound thing in the world but no one hears does it matter? if you waste your audiences times by post of false pride and bragging like a do goodie in school and lose the only people that will listen does anything you later say matter?