taking the day off. trying to pause for a moment, to not think of work, of moving things to and fro, of taxes and contacts and moving the imaginary ball further up the field. and i am failing horribly at it. so hard it is to pause, it feels as though i am being left behind, missing the train to the next station, hustle we must in these times. its part of the city i live in, but i know it extends beyond. progress is backwards. the more we work the more obligations we have, the more we do anything the more we lose everything else.

but we dont know these things. lost in the distractions of what our parents told us over and over again, we do what we were told to do. we go for the cheese, the family and the home, we blindly follow. yet we are feeling our way around in the dark…guessing at best of what we should be doing or seeing and hearing. the birds try to to sing to us in mornings but our phone tweets louder. alost in algorithms our slide to cyborgs has begun and there is little we can do about this. our circle has been drawn, to follow is all we can do. we are reacting to this world, not the other way around.

i wonder if jesus would help? probably not. that path and those times had their own hardships, their own demons. its nice to think that others could be orchestrating all this, but most of those know better. we sleep and awake alone, to face our own monsters and dreams. a marathon of life, judged over and over by ourselves and others with each age-group and subset with their own winners and losers. collected and placed aside as we keep pace with the times and the surroundings we all call home.