we keep getting a new start. each day, with a new page, each year unfolding ahead of us. although we are carrying many things along with us. many ideas of who we are, what we should be. as it all constantly changes, we pretend we are a steady force to measure it all. our idea of ourselves and our understandings of the world come home to roost as we are proven wrong or lead afar by some distraction by some urge or some need. we must keep ourselves occupied if only to have something to show for all this time and effort. we must keep busy, keep at it. so i do.

its not yet mid-morning and the news is already read, the mini games on my mini computer are completed, my inventory of my belongings have been scanned through and my day is planned. i will hop in a motorised machine and head west, towards an island who calls me to spend time there. i will use what i have, time and money, to bend the area i have chosen to represent who i am and attract similar folk. i will go in circles there, around and around, climb mountains and meet with locals, i will develop the area in as much as i can develop myself. i will become something out there, a friend or a foe, it depends on the way the winds blow. either way i will unsettle the dust that has settled there.

back home that evening i will dance with new friends around oriental cuisine. i will be careful and choreograph my conversations and actions to hide my true intentions. for sometimes we cannot have what we want. if its good in the start it will be tough later i remind myself, not to mention all the other pieces that will fall if i dont play my cards tight. such an imaginary game we play that feels so real. such an illogical but magical moment we are presented each and every moment when we stop and think it over. building sand castles on the edge of a rising ocean.