going in circles. wake up, go about the day. drink coffee, go to work, go to sleep. wake up, do it again. the earth spins with me, the sun and moon changing places in the sky as the weather cycles over and over in a circular spiral that seems to go in one direction and end up in another. each move, conversation and opportunity i find seem to have similar predictable paths. they go up and down in waves, bringing with it excitement and boredom but mostly repetition. do the circles end or simply widen? and what is it that we are chasing on each day and each turn.
and will any of it change? fate is something that is interesting to think about. sometimes we are defined more by what we do then what we do not do, and if it is to come anyways does any of it matter? i think at times that all will be alright, but when I really think about it I am not sure if I am tricking myself into believing that or simply coming to terms with the fact that most of my future cannot be changed. just as my past had let me to the current moment, the set of events that comes about in your life were probably going to happen no matter what you did or do.
—-
an old chinese story about going in circles retold here…
About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. “You aren’t going to catch many fish that way,” said the businessman. “You should be working rather than lying on the beach!”
The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, “And what will my reward be?”
“Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!” was the businessman’s answer.
“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman, still smiling.
The businessman replied, “You will make money and you’ll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!”
“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman again.
The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman’s questions. “You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!” he said.
“And then what will my reward be?” repeated the fisherman.
The businessman was getting angry. “Don’t you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!”
Once again the fisherman asked, “And then what will my reward be?”
The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, “Don’t you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won’t have a care in the world!”
The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “And what do you think I’m doing right now?”