and the pinnacle swings. written into it all is the other side. with each moment of pleasure promising a touch of pain in return, the water has to go somewhere. joy and pleasure in exchange for pain and sadness, they seep from the same area, from the same place. an emotional roller coaster that never lets you get off. the nausea never quite settles.

francois-

a day to seize it all. if you knew your last day was upon you, how would it play out? what would you spend it doing and with who? what would you use your savings on, which objects of yours would you give away or would you let it all simply be as it is, caring less about a future you will not longer participate in. there are a number of things to work out it seems, best to start with where it all gets worked out from.

it would be hard to clear your mind, to give it a space where you could go to contemplate what you should do with these last waking moments. it is challenging for one to figure out what we want on a day to day basis, given less time and immediacy perhaps one would get to the answer quicker. but like so many things, it is not so easy. our joy is derived unexpectedly, and even when one is in the midst of it the feeling is hard to replicate. like love or hate, it appears not from a yearning so much but from a place within that we are always seeking. the goldilocks scenario we are always in search of and never able to exactly settle on. all or nothing we try and work ourselves tiresomely to try to obtain a wealth we never quite know how to wield. the last day would probably be similar to all the rest coupled with incredible anxiety of not missing out on anything or anyone.