putting feathers into our cap or causing further black eyes, we stumble around pretending we know the way we are going. we boast about our knowledge and pat ourselves on the back when luck comes our way. but in reality we all swim in the middle, fearful of what lies too far below and afraid to rise to the surface, to be caught by the ones that wish to take us away. our self awareness keeps our libido in check. rules, both imaginary and real fence us in as we try to make our way through the days ahead.

torn between right and wrong. our egos wrestles with our superegos. to know the way, but yearn to reach our hands into the cookie jar, to test the thin ice, to bend the unseen rules. if only to make us feel, to remind us not only what there is to lose but also to taste what there is to gain. to not only look at the grass on the other side of the fence but to frolic in it at the same time.

i lean into the gas pedal and try not to look at the inevitable debris in the road ahead. so it is to be conscious. no other animal feels this way. they go about their day with instincts, to kill or be killed, little time to contemplate the actions of their actions. they need not suffer the trivialities of right and wrong, they simply do. to be less mindful. ignorance is bliss. how to unforget it all, this we search for.